To Wong Foo, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar, is by far one of my favorite movies and "Not everything I touch turns to Caca, Right?" is a great quote.
I feel like I have learned a lot from Ms. Chi Chi Rodriguez.
This post is not going to be a movie review; although it's one of my faves; there is something else I want to touch on. The main reason that this quote stood out to me so much was because of the picture below. You are more than likely saying to yourself they are dead flowers so what does that have to do with To Wong Foo?
It has everything to do with it. Chi-Chi's quote of turning everything into caca, was a belief that she grew up thinking was true. I really related to that. Chi-Chi spends the whole movie trying to figure out who she was and what she wanted to stand for. Does that sound familiar?
I bought these flowers with the intention of seeing how I affect energy. I am a strong believer that our energy affects our environment, but most of the time we don't pay attention. When I noticed that my flowers were dying, I was surprised to see that only the yellow ones stayed up. Yellow in the chakra system belongs in the solar plexus region; I believe this to be our second brain. I bought these flowers on a Monday and by Wednesday of the same week, they looked like this. So I reflected back on my week to see what I was doing.
I realized that I was preparing for a two day event and I remember that I had been working on my confidence. I have found that sometimes we get caught up in developing one chakra over the other, that it causes us to be off balance. Once I understood this, I could easily see how Chi-Chi became aware of her own energy. In the movie Chi-Chi learns the 4 steps to becoming a drag queen. After digging deeper into these steps, I have found that they should be the steps we follow to becoming a loving human being.
Chi-Chi at the end of the movie gets everything she asked for, but not because she is greedy or hurts people to get to the top. It's because, she changed her view on situations that come up and she learned to take responsibility for the role she played in her own unhappiness. I look at Vida and Noxeema's characters as guides for Chi-Chi. We all have and need guides to show us the way.
Below is a receipt for the 4 steps of being a drag queen. Hope you enjoy it .
4 Steps to becoming a drag queen
Step 1: May good thoughts be your sword and shield
This is one of my favorite steps, and I am so glad that it's number one. When I first looked at this step I thought, okay, Ya! sure we can change our thoughts? How can I see someone that I don't like, in a good way? Well, it starts with the way I was viewing the situation that I was confronted with. I, like many of us, have struggled with negative thinking. I would allow myself to sit in my anger and hatred. There were so many times that I found myself placing blame on others for the way that I was feeling internally. When they discussed this part in the movie. They're actually were talking about how we utilize our thoughts in the way we think of ourselves.
I'm a strong believer that our thoughts are spells, just as much as our words. If we think something negative. whether it's to ourselves or about others. We have the tendency to believe that that is a true statement. Therefore in a sense, we are creating that reality. Having my thoughts be my weapon was something very easy for me to do. Like I said, I could easily find scenarios where either somebody has wronged me or I just don't like that person for the way they looked at me, behaved or what they believe. This is all part of social programming. Once I understood that I could let go of the idea that this was somehow, a characteristic trait that is just embedded in me. Like any program; you can rewrite it, you can change it or you can upgrade!
Our thoughts are no different. So learning how to change my thoughts, from using them as a weapon and started using them to defend. I can now protect myself from that negative thinking pattern. Now, to be 100% honest. It's not that I don't ever go there! I don't think negative thoughts about anybody or anything ever, because that would be a lie. I'm not a saint. I am still of this physical realm. A physical experiences of being human is understanding our emotions, thoughts and actions.
So, next time you're at a grocery store and somebody cuts you off that parking lot or you're waiting in line to purchase something and there is an irate customer. Notice how you are thinking. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts try to find the loving part of that situation and see how your perception starts to change. This practice does take dedication and a lot of patience but it is something that you too can accomplish.
Step 2: Ignore adversity
For me ignoring my adversity was a little harder than one might think. I spent most of my life thinking that I would never be good enough to.... I believed that only negative things would happen to me, such as: I would lose my job, I wouldn't be able to pay my rent, and my kids would grow up to hate me. Just like step number one; understanding our thoughts and how they are both our sword and shield, then adversity must follow. Once we change our thought, pattern, and the process in whatever scenarios comes up it gets easier to ignore adversity.
I should get one part clear! When I say ignore adversity what I'm actually saying is; to face it. To ignore something; to be swept under the rug and wish for it to go away. Is a big part of social programming. For us it's easy to say "ignore" in front of whatever discomfort we are going through in our life. Life is not rainbows and sugar cookies! So to expect that your day to day situations are always going to be positive, is setting yourself up for failure! I am no longer trying to ignore adversity, but understand that I will have some. I will not let it overwhelm me. I learned a long time ago from a really good mentor that in order to understand adversity you have to understand that adversity has to happen. He would call this eating your shit sandwich.
Since we know that we have to accept adversity, then we know that there are parts we CAN control. You can choose the flavor and size, you can even choose for how long you're going to consume that sandwich. What you can't choose is when it comes up. So! The short and sweet, don't ignore adversity. You want to embrace it! You want to accept it for what it is, and work through it to break your unwanted behaviors and patterns.
Step 3: Abide by the rules of LOVE
Step three is got to be one of the best and hardest steps to go through. To abide by the rules of love is to understand what love truly is and isn't. Just like in step two. We have to embrace adversity, we have to learn how to find the love and the positive qualities in everything we encounter. I recall this being the point in my life when I had to surrender to love.
I started internally by looking at the way that I love myself. I asked myself the question "Do you love yourself? I quickly found that for most of my life; I didn't love myself as much as I claimed to. Once I learned how to love who I am. I started to learn to accept my flaws for what they are, knowing that I had the ability to change them. That really helped me change my perspective of what love really was.
We can break love down into so many different categories. For this particular topic, I want to keep love as generic as posible. In the words of my guru Ram Das, "Open your heart and quiet your mind". When you start to apply that process to your life you've already accomplished step one and two.
Step 4: Larger than life "just the right size"
This fourth step is one of the most important steps, without it, you might continue to fall back into your same old patterns and behaviors. We all have some kind of a goal in life! For some, it could be getting healthy, for others making money. For me it was a calling to be of service. What did that mean? I tried on so many hats in my life. From nursing school to accounting classes, I could not find the right fit until now. I found that fear ran a lot of my decisions and it was the main reason I was not achieving my goals. When this realization came to me; I was at my breaking point. Like Ms. Chi-Chi Rodriguez, I had enough of people telling me what to do!
I love to write. I have a passion for it. I'm working through my fears and my flaws when it comes to writing everyday. I encourage you to go out in the world and try things, to see what fits you best. Don't settle for social conventions that saying you have to do, or be a certain way. I feel like this is our current situation in the world. I believe that everybody's just trying to figure out what fits them best. We're seeing it in things like the; Bud-Light controversy. The don't say "gay" acts. All the nonsense out there that tries to take away our right to exist.
I think the best thing we can do for a human race; is to actually care about one another without judgement. We must have our own thoughts and opinions. Truly stand for things that matter for the human race, not just the individual. I'd encourage us to stop our single-mindedness and start thinking as a collective. This will help us make decisions that are based for the greater good. We need to start letting go of things like greed, power, fame and recognition. Because all those things don't matter in the after world.
Last thought....
I know it's cute the way I write the four steps of being a drag queen, but if you just take these steps and apply it to your life in general. You don't have to become a drag queen, (But if you do you will be fabulous!) But a decent human being. Learning to open your heart and how to love people for who they are. We all talk about leaving a legacy when we leave this world. What exactly is the legacy you are wanting to leave. The fact that you were never around, because you worked so much to create an income that was unsustainable for your lifestyle. I remember that was the direction I was on. Now my legacy is not of the material but in life's gains . It's more of how can I be of service to you, myself and the collective. learning to open my heart and quiet my mind. Really, seeing the good qualities in people, even in my times of anger and frustration. I love humans, I think they're interesting, but I also do think that there are ways of improving ourselves. One of the ways is by changing our perception of the world.
Love you long namaste!